Define wargaming.

[Pake]

Hauskaa luettavaa...

Terms that many of us are familiar with like "RPG" or "d6" aren’t common at all to a non-gamer. For example, a quick internet search for “RPG” yields "role-playing game" as the first result, but "rocket-propelled grenade" isn’t far behind. "D6" brings up the guitar chord and shopping results for audio equipment and then dice.

But what happens when you ask a real, live, non-gamer human to define some of the standard terms used in WARMACHINE or HORDES? Well, Gentle Reader, the results weren’t unexpected. In the interest of protecting the innocent, I won’t divulge the name or location of the "relative" I emailed. I will say we aren’t related by blood and the term "uncle" is used as an honorific. "Crazy uncle [redacted]" has a nice ring to it. Trust me.

Please define the following:

D6 – A gang of six street-savvy toughs who totally owned the black market absinthe racket in Salzburg, back before our family immigrated.

2D6 – Graffiti indicating where one of D6 could be found, if one were in the market for some illicit absinthe.

SPD – Salzburg Police Department. Not known for drinking absinthe.

STR – Captain Kirk sans underwear. Seriously – take the HANEs out of SHATNER and you get STR. You can't make this stuff up, girl.

MAT – Kind of a rectangle thing in front of your door. You wipe your boots on it. Sometimes in bathrooms, but that's not a suitable topic for mixed company.

RAT – A large hairy rodent, once believed to carry bubonic plague. What, they don't teach you kids this in kindergarten?

DEF – Short for "Definitely", like in a text message. As in, "Watch out 4 D6. They r def crazy."

ARM – This thing here, with a hand on the end of it. Look, I got another one over here.

CMD – Go to the doctor, that rash is playing up again. Looks hideous. You should try fish oil.

Feat – Evidence that they're not teaching you squat in kindergarten. Feet has two Es, girl!

Spells – No, I think we already covered that they didn't teach you how to spell.

Stationary – Related to a train station.

What's the difference between a figurine and a miniature? You talking about them dollies now? Figurines are like them porcelain things your Auntie likes. Miniature? Does the dachshund count?

What's a "base coat"? The thing you wear under a parka.

FOCUS – What my glasses help me do now that my eyes aren't as good as they used to be... but I can still see that tattoo, girl. Don't let your auntie see, she'll lose her biscuit.

FURY – Show your auntie that tattoo and you'll find out, sure enough.